I suppose that no matter what I was studying, I'd find some way to relate it to the rest of my life. Right now, it seems that the Talmud we've been learning about Yom Kippur is dominating my frame of reference. It just so happens that Yom Kippur has a lot to do with the other thing dominating my mind-space these days…namely, the wedding of my amazing friends Yisrael and Chana. The Talmud goes through several categories of food that we're told explicitly not to eat during the year, things like leftovers from sacrifices and untithed grains, and tells us explicitly not to eat them on Yom Kippur. But isn't that day included when we're told something is forbidden year round?! Well, it seems that Yom Kippur is such a different reality that we need to re-learn everything thought to be obvious. So, what's the connection to a wedding, you ask?
As far as I can tell from being a close observer at several incredible ceremonies in the past two years, weddings are also a whole 'nother world. The bride and groom are dressed in white, they often fast the day of the wedding, and the prayers they utter are received with wide open ears. Even more than that, it's said that at the day of your wedding your "heavenly slate" is wiped clean as you begin a new life with your soulmate. Woah! That's no joke! We're even commanded to make the bride and groom happy on their wedding day (does that mean no bad jokes in the toast?).
Speaking of weddings, the Jewish people are on their way to the chupah (wedding canopy), for in a few short weeks will be our "wedding" of Shavuout, when we'll accept the Torah on Mount Sinai and enter into a new relationship with G-d. I mentioned a bit last week about the process of getting to Shavuout. Right now, we're in the middle of counting the Omer, a time frame in which, because of it's severity and its reference to the destruction of our holy Temples, weddings are forbidden… ummm… don't call off the caterer yet. Chana and Yisrael are marrying on Lag B'Omer (the 33rd day of the Omer…May 23). This day is a celebration of the light brought into the world by Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, who lived in Eretz Yisrael in the 2nd century CE. Shimon Bar Yochai lived 13 years of his life in a cave, hiding out from the Romans, sustaining himself on fruit from a carob tree. During this time, he came to an incomprehensible level of love for G-d. He's thought responsible for the text of the Zohar, our main compendium of Kabbalistic literature. He revealed secrets of how to see behind masks, how to forge relationship, how to love. The funny thing is, we remember him on his yartzheit (the day he died). We all know that it is often from darkness that light emerges. On the day that such a holy man died, and his soul was reunited with the ultimate soul, everything that soul stood for was released from the body that had been containing it. All the light and love he had seen and felt was brought into the world for the rest of us to feel. Thus on Lag B'omer, it's a custom to dance, and sing, light bonfires, and get married! Lag B'omer is like a sneak preview of the upcoming wedding on Shavuot. Sometimes, says my dear friend Leibush H., G-d wants to show us He loves so badly that He can't wait for the "designated" moment. That's what Lag B'omer is. It's a pit stop amidst this cycle of 7 weeks of 7 days in which we've been working on ourselves, trying to get closer to an understanding of how to be a Jew in the world. Lag B'omer is asking us, "Are you excited for what's coming? Are you yearning for a more revealed relationship? Are you thirsty for answers?" Thus, weddings are only permitted on this single day of the Omer, when the energy of remembering the past and working to make fixings changes into an energy of anticipation and overwhelming love.
The Midrash on the Book of Genesis talks about Man and Woman really starting as one creature with two of every feature that was then split into man and woman. We spend our lives, then, trying to find that other half. Talk about trying to find a needle in a haystack. Chana and Yisrael, though, are definitely two halves of the same whole. They are both giving, like no other; goofy, like no other; and totally open to whatever life has to offer them. I bless them that on this Lag B'Omer, all that holy light of love should shine down upon them brilliantly. May your desire to give be matched by your ability to receive, and may we all receive a sweet taste of the freedom to reach new heights in loving and being loved.