It is difficult at such times to justify writing about the personal experience of G-d. These times must be devoted to our national self. But we must remember that we are a people composed of individual selves. We also must avoid the pitfalls that try to drag us down into self-absorption. Yom Kippur has passed - many of us emerged feeling cleansed. And then that night we found ourselves eating like pigs, or saying something stupid, or sleeping late the next morning. We must not let this upset us. Yom Kippur doesn't turn us into saints, it wipes us clean and gives us a chance to react better to those times when we blunder - apologize more easily, feel less bad. Rav Daniel tells me The Sfat Emet says that our work now is to believe in the Yom Kippur past, that it actually did clean us. Then, relieved of our deep personal guilt, we can encounter our mess-ups as mess-ups, not as indications of our deep personal wretchedness.
Succot is upon us. How pleasurable, after the intense spiritual work of the past month, to get a hammer and some nails, scrounge around for some boards, and build a little hut. Then we get to put our bodies inside that hut, shake around a branch with a piece of fruit, and then eat a little, sleep a little, eat a little, sleep a little. And this is what G-d wants. This holiday is beyond our intelligence, it is the first baby step out of our minds into G-d's world, the one reborn on Rosh Hashana. As the impression of the old world slowly fades from our eyes, we are almost ready to see the new world - but just a little, just a little shack, some sticks, some chotchkie wall hangings.
This succah is our space. The gemarra says G-d's Presence doesn't come down below 10 tefachim (approximately 3 feet) - this is our space. The Sucah is to remind us of the clouds of Glory that surrounded the Jews in the desert. G-d wasn't hanging right next to us - He gave us space. Space that is necessary for true meeting. This space is the space of prayer. The succah is called sukat David ha'nofalet - the fallen booth of David, which R' Nachman says is prayer. This same David says "I have placed Hashem k'negdi - before me always." I heard in the name of Uri Kaploon in the name of Rashi on last weeks parsha that k'negdi means "like a little bit away" - not RIGHT THERE IN YOUR FACE. It is important to have YOUR space in prayer. You. G-d. Especially now in these difficult times, when prayer is so essential, tell G-d EXACTLY what you think. You. Think. Talk. Israel needs you. Chag Sameyach.
Rav Gavriel Goldfeder
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Rav Gavriel Goldfeder is one of the first semicha recipients of the yeshiva. A graduate of Drew University in Religious Studies, he came to Bat Ayin after stints in other yeshivot and found a spiritual and intellectual home. Here he met his wife, Ketriellah, who was a student in our short-lived Women's Yeshiva. Upon graduation, Gavriel took the position of rabbi of the Aish Kodesh Congregation in Boulder, Colorado and together with Ketriellah and their growing family, they are busy creating (in Gavriel's words), "a community infused with Torah values, passion for learning and prayer, consideration of one another, and action, as well as deep celebration of the joys of life." |