"For this commandment (to keep the commandments and statutes of the Torah)… that I command you today, it is not hidden from you and it is not distant. It is not in the heavens…nor is it across the sea…Rather the matter is very near to you." (Deut. 30:11-14) Moshe reminds us that the 613+ commandments are all one unit, one unified whole. Even more importantly, the Torah is right here in our hands, designed to be an "audience participation" experience. When a convert came to Hillel asking to be taught the Torah while standing on one foot, Hillel answered him "Love your neighbor as yourself," the rest is commentary, now go and learn (a markedly different response from his contemporary Shammai, who chased the man away with a stick). Hillel knew that leading a life of Torah was a life centered around relationships. Without respecting that, no real learning could ever take place.
Our relationship with G-d is under the microscope these days. With Rosh Hashanah a week away, another Shlomo Carlebach Torah has found it's way into my thoughts. "Shabbat," he says, "is all in G-d's hands, but Rosh Hashanah is a little bit in my hands." Shabbat is completion, a day when we don't interact with the world in a way that will change it. We don't engage in creative or destructive acts, it's a day to tap in to the energy of purposeful stillness. G-d prayed and created the world, then G-d blessed G-d's creations, calling them "good." Similarly, on the first night of Rosh Hashanah WE pray, and then WE bless G-d's creations. We bless each other that we should be signed and sealed for a sweet new year. Shlomo goes on to say that if we're really in touch with the depth of relationships, we'll yearn to be sealed in the great "book" that's being written on the condition that our friends and loved ones are written in along with us. Unbeleivable! How many of us can honestly say that life would not be worth living without a certain person? Okay, so it would be tragic if they were taken away from us, but to realize that our interconnection runs so deep that we would be lost without the energy their soul adds to ours…I wish I could have such an appreciation for life.
Ironically enough, in my quest to draw close to the Torah and its "commandment," I've missed the point that's been staring me in the face. The Hebrew word for commandment, "mitzvah," shares the same root as "tzavat," joined. Commandments serve to join us, not only to G-d, but to each other. Duh! Maybe it's not so obvious, though. Rosh Hashana, says Shlomo, isn't about words…it's at once more subtle and more powerful than words, it's a day of signs. How does a baby communicate with his/her mother? Not with words, but with signs…grunts and gurgles, smiles and cries. And with our b'shert (our intended)? We don't connect over an exchange of witty memos, we connect through the body language we give off. The same is true with G-d, on Rosh Hashanah, we're telling G-d that despite our actions, despite our words, at our core we have always been yearning for purpose, longing for inclusion in the heart that beats out the rhythm of the universe.
That's where real tshuvah (rediscovering and radiating the unique spark of my soul) happens…in my heart. "It will be that when all these things come upon you - the blessing and the curse…then you will take it to your heart…and you will return to Hashem, your G-d, and listen to G-d's voice." (Deut. 30:1-2) Returning to a place where we can hear that heart beat is a path of highs and lows…our life was designed that way from the beginning of time, and through all of Jewish history we've been struggling to float above (and hopefully surf!) the waves life sends our way. "A still small voice is heard," sometimes only after the wave crashes does the silence come, enabling us to hear that voice. But other times, on the crest of that perfect wave a quarter mile out to sea, in the silence of the early morning, it rings in our ears.