“Just be yourself!” That’s what they always tell you on your way to a first date or a job interview. I always thought it was good advice, but what exactly does it mean? Here we are spending our lives trying to figure out WHO WE ARE while at the same time we’re already supposed to know who we are so that we can be that person on demand, when it really counts. If the real me and I were to be introduced, I’m sure he’d wonder why I was so fragmented, why I was running in eleven directions at once. This feeling of an inner division I’m talking about has plagued us since the beginning of time. It’s what killed the thriving Jewish Community in Israel at the turn of the first century, and it continues to haunt me today. Tisha B’av is a day to focus on that, to build bridges between ourselves and within ourselves.
This shabbat is called Shabbat Nachamu...the shabbat of consoling. The Slonomer Rebbe speaks of the past three weeks as “metzarim,” narrow straits. G-d willing, we’ve emerged from this emotionally trying time to find a new beginning awaiting us -- a beginning where G-d has mercy on us and our hidden desire to bridge our gaps. The Torah portion we read recounts the events at Mount Sinai, where we were also given a second chance with a second set of tablets enumerating the 10 commandments -- we came out of the narrow straits of Egypt and were given the Torah, and then given it again anew. On this shabbat the energy of that second chance is alive in the world.
Rebbe Nachman speaks at length about love, specifically the difference between “ahavah sheb’poahl” and “ahavah sheb’koach.” The first is the love that I have for something or someone right now. I experience it now, and I express it now while I’m feeling it. The second is potential love. This is the love of a father, says Rebbe Nachman, for his unborn son. A love that exists before the object for that love has materialized in the world. Inspiration. It’s the gift we’re all given at the start of any new venture to see us through that transition from what could be to what is. Once that transition is made, though, the inspiration often fades; whether it be in a business deal or in a relationship, that intense excitement at the possibility for greatness lasts for but a moment. We are then faced with the challenge of working to meet our expectations. When Hashem “thought” to create the world, it initially existed only in G-d’s “mind,” yet the love he had for the world, for the human race that would evolve there, for the Jewish people that would grow up there, was stronger than any love I could hope to experience. Unlimited...not bounded by the confines of time, nor place, nor feasibility, nor comfort zones.
Within this week’s parsha is mentioned the commandment to build cities of refuge for those who murdered unintentionally. “Then Moshe set aside three cities...” In Boulder last Shabbat it was mentioned that even after 40 years of living like kings, where Hashem provided daily miracles, the inspiration of the new realtionship with G-d had worn off and we were falling to pieces. One piece of us yearning for an embrace by the infinite love emanating from a time before creation, and one piece shielded from an invasion that would threaten independence and status quo.
These cities of refuge were real places, places where you could go to “put the pieces back together again.” Being sent to one of those cities meant your desire to be connected wasn’t in touch with the physical means being employed to connect. The chasm had grown to large and it was swallowing those around you. Tisha B’av reminds us that we are all indeed connected in this world. As independent as I am, I share a soul with you, with all of you, that can bind us or repell us. So “let me build a bridge, for I cannot build a chasm.”