Tamuz, as we know, is the fixing of the eyes, of seeing. This is the month when the spies were traipsing around Israel, seeing only limitation, forboding, danger. And it's certainly hard -- this is a world in which G-d is not quite obvious (let's admit it -- completely hidden). It takes effort and guts to see meaning sometimes. Sometimes it takes downright lying to yourself, pretending to see what you do not, complete faith.
Rebbe Nachman says that the fixing of the memory comes through the eyes, because when we look at the world in a negative way, a narrow way, in a limited way, as if there's not enough space in the world for you to be right AND for me to be right, so you must be wrong -- this vision cuts off our memory. What are we trying to remember? That there is newness, that there is a world to come, that there is change and growth, that we haven't seen anything yet, that we don't know anything about this guy who we feel so challenged by. And it's interesting, "fixing the memory." Even if you sit there all day and flex your brain, you can’t remember more than you remember (interestingly similar to the fact that you cant believe more than you believe). But Rebbe Nachman says by fixing your vision, the memory of the amazing fluid Divinity, the real transparency of his world through which the Naked Existence that is G-d really shines so brightly, just flows in automatically, as soon as we let go of seeing it the old way. New eyes -- there's nothing specific to look for. There's just what not to look for.
We must be curious to find G-d, we must assume and believe that there is something else going on that we don’t know anything about. And this applies ESPECIALLY to you (and especially to your wife). Tamuz could be a sad month, through old eyes. Look again.
Rav Gavriel Goldfeder
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Rav Gavriel Goldfeder is one of the first semicha recipients of the yeshiva. A graduate of Drew University in Religious Studies, he came to Bat Ayin after stints in other yeshivot and found a spiritual and intellectual home. Here he met his wife, Ketriellah, who was a student in our short-lived Women's Yeshiva. Upon graduation, Gavriel took the position of rabbi of the Aish Kodesh Congregation in Boulder, Colorado and together with Ketriellah and their growing family, they are busy creating (in Gavriel's words), "a community infused with Torah values, passion for learning and prayer, consideration of one another, and action, as well as deep celebration of the joys of life." |